Yakkering?

As in To Yak?  To Puke? Throw up? Vomit?  Or… Yak as in Yakkering.com.

Here’s yet another way to tell a bunch of people you don’t know (or barely know) what you’re doing from minute to minute….it’s based on your interests, and so far there are no topics that include sex, porn, rock n roll, or douchnozzles. I imagine George Parker won’t be Yakking anytime soon.

The About Us Page Says: 

Yakkering is all about one question. What’s on your mind?  Come join our community and share with us your thoughts on various subject matters. There are many things you can do at Yakkering.com. For example, if you found someone’s thought particularly interesting, you can follow that person’s thought. You can also make your own groups and send them messages.

Then, the First Yak:

03:51 PM Monday, 30 March 2009:  General    Welcome to yakkering fellow yakkers. I hope you find the site usefull and fun. Thats what this site is about.

This Yak needs a spell check. So Twitter and Facebook … scoot over.  You have company!  HA!  Such a crazy world in which we live!

 

Dude!  Yak Me!  But keep it short, will ya!?

If I have to explain it …

The new “Lauren” TV spot out there by Microsoft took an embarassingly cheap shot at Apple users with the line:  “I guess I’m not cool enough to be a Mac person.”  

Please.   The spot was a desperate move in my view and Lauren needs to do something with her stringy hair.  So with that said, maybe she ISN’T cool enough.

Not a day goes by in our office when someone doesn’t curse Bill Gates. If you made any of us use a freakin’ PC, we’d all sooner get out a legal pad and box of #2 Black Warriors.  Oh, and Sharpies … I covet them. 

Comparing MAC & PC  is like driving a Harley, then jumping on a Vespa.   If I have to explain it to you, you wouldn’t understand.

Another great article on this I just found thanks to adfreak and another reason to not be too crazy about Microsoft:  

http://i.gizmodo.com/5190861/someone-found-microsofts-lauren-and-shes-an-actress

How Are You? No, really…I want to know.

Ad people have always had this great opportunity.  The chance to use their powers of persuasion to tell the masses to stop being shit heads. We’ve always felt that way here in Hooterville, and have done countless hours of pro-bono work, especially with domestic violence. So when I got to read The Happy Soul Industry, I not only enjoyed the tale, I loved the very notion that God would hire an agency to send that message of “Just be Cool”.   (I don’t know if God tells US to spread that word, but we do it just the same.)

I tried to imagine getting the most important client ever and plan the most important campaign … in history!  How Are You?  Really!  It’s a great story, a smooth read,  interesting and engaging.  I finished it wanting more.

I read some review on Amazon that cautioned Christians because they might be offended.  PLEASE, people!  It’s Fiction, OK?  Overly religious people (at least around here) tend to have little imagination. What religion wouldn’t encourage Doing Good?  

Look, we spend all this time and talent trying to get Joe Schmoe to drink THAT beer and buy THAT car, so why not use that creative power to get him to stop beating his wife, lose his gut, stop littering. It’s really the most important work we could ever do.  

Our clients will be getting a copy of this one.  You get it, too.  Enjoy it.  Then use your powers for good.  

  

Thanks, Steffan, for a beautifully written story.

“Let’s Level with the Consumer”

There’s probably a lot to learn here. Let’s be honest and appeal to the “no-nonsense type” consumer. Didn’t David Ogilvy say something along this line…”The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife.”

God Rest Dudley Moore’s soul. And David’s, too.

Sweet Spot

Ad people are a cynical bunch…I know I am. But I gotta give Liberty Mutual credit for making me feel all warm and fuzzy.  Love the editing, the music, the genuineness of it all.   If only people could be this cool.  (I let people go ahead of me in heavy traffic…does that count?)  

I don’t know a thing about Liberty Mutual-maybe they’re a bunch of dishonest bastards in line for some bail out money.  But they can’t be….not with a sweet little message like this.    Awwww…. 

????

Can’t you just fix the web site without redesigning the logo?   No.

We’re not sure if we should change the name of the business or not.  Call me when you decide.

We’d like to go with two color, but when we see the proof, we might decide to go with full color.   Uhhhh….

How much does a TV ad cost? How much does a car cost?

We’d like to hire you for one commercial, see how it goes, but keep our other agency, too.   Uh, no.

I’d like to put my kids in the spot.   Please hire someone else.

Don’t put us on that TV station…their news department is too liberal.  Oh My God.

Phil’s in my gun club, so we’d like to buy a little something on his station.  Sure.

I’m doing fine on my own, why should I hire you.   Why did you call me then?

I want our commercial to look like XYZ company.   No.

Can you make the logo bigger?   Absolutely not.

Looking for new dentist

Had a routine checkup with my dentist the other day.  Other than an $800 new crown he recommended, I’m fine. On my way out the door, he asked if I liked funny, “edgy” humor.  Hell yes, I’m in advertising. So he said he’d put me on his email list and send me “funny” things.

I have since been receiving a daily dose of extreme right-wing, offensive, racist commentary and cartoons, mainly pointed at President Obama, Congress and things happening in America he deems offensive….like the mom of the Octuplets.

If he thinks he’ll be putting his racist hands in my mouth anymore, think again. It was a classless and stupid thing to do. Sharing that kind of poison with others is worse than root canal.  Hooterville is full of idiots like this.  I have another client who insists on engaging me in discussions about local politics and how the good old boys (the Democrats) are ruining City Hall, yada, yada, yada.  I stop him immediately….what does this have to do with selling a sofa?  It’s not rational commentary-it’s evil and when I think of it, downright frightening.

I live among these people.

Adfolk (for the most part) seem to be more pragmatic, open minded and less vitriloic in their opinions. Why is that?  But no matter what your views on matters like these, keep it to yourself.  Sharing hate makes you a moron.

             Betcha he’s got an NRA card and white sheet hanging in his closet, too!             

The meaner, the better.

While the rest of the world is scamming, cheating and  being generally nasty to one another, here in Hooterville business is pretty good.  We’re keeping a tentative eye out for our own economic downturn, but right now we’re holding our own.  I believe the biggest reason is, for a shop our size, we do solid work that sends warm bodies through the clients door.  (Hey, we get ’em there…after that, it’s their job to sell ’em something.)  But I think another reason is that I’m a little, shall we say, straightforward?  OK, maybe a bit bitchy.   

The guys I work with know me inside out…and tolerate my rants. We naturally fall into the good guy/bitchy adgirl roles.  For example, a new client comes in and says he did his own brochure, so why should he hire us?  “You might not need to, show me what you did.”  Come on!  If you’re so good, then why are you talking to me?  (I saw what he did, and of course it was crap and, I’m sure deep down, he’s sorry he was such a nimrod.)

There’s been a lot of activity and we’re truly grateful. The office joke is the meaner I am, the more business we seem to get!  But it’s really because relationships run deep here- clients talk to one another.  They come to us for answers and direction without a lot of BS.  They know if I’m a little direct (or bossy), it’s because I care.  And we’re too busy to hold hands for long … you either get us or you don’t.  I’d likely never make it in a big market with such a sassy attitude.  And I’m too old to change now…wherever my next job takes me, honesty has to be the best policy.

 

   I’m the Good Ad Witch…really, I am!

Opportunities

Courtesy of a wonderful place called unfortunate names, I’ve found several products that are begging for a campaign. We can’t tackle something of this magnitude  (dude, there’s a church on every corner with an auto parts store across the street here in Hooterville-I’d be in a world of trouble)  but you guys should take it on!  

Beaver Cream. 

Might generate a big fan base on Facebook?

 

 

Instant Sex.  

Possibly an instructional video?

 

  

McPussy.  

Hmmm…I’m thinking a jingle.

Big Love Tweets

So my experiment with Twitter continues.  I find some very interesting people and some (for whatever reason) who wanna follow me. I accidently nudged makethelogobigger then immediately apologized, wondering if his wife would mind….I mean, I didn’t know what a nudge was. 🙂

Then I get some chick named Nicolette Grant who wants to follow me.   She says she’s “living the principle with her husband Bill and her sister wives”.   Uh-Oh!!! Further investigation validates my suspicions…HBO must have hired a bunch of interns to Tweet  lines from their hit show Big Love.  (My camera guy never misses it. I’m pretty certain George has never seen it!  I don’t watch it but I do delight in the current stir the show has caused with the Moorman Church!)

So… they Tweet to push their program, entice their fans?   I’ll block Nicky, as I can’t add this to my already long TV list.  But it’s a slick, smooth example of advertisers sliding into new media.  I have to admit, it caught me a little off guard.

Hey, this is Hooterville.  I lead a sheltered life.

Twit This, HBO!!