Posts Tagged ‘clients’

The Client/Vendor Relationship

February 16, 2010

Chances are very good you have this relationship with at least some of your clients. And if you do, send them to your competition.

Thank you Kathie, the best female announcer ever, for the find.


January 15, 2010

…I watched a 60+ clients eyes glaze over as I showed him TweetDeck and explained Twitter.

…I was polite to a guy named Brad from India who called about Internet Advertising.

…I did not feel sorry for telling a deadbeat client that if he can do his own web updates, then by all means, please do.  But if he wants me to teach him how, there would be a charge.

…I did not toss the postage meter out the window when it said “inspection due”.

…I out-shocked the client who calls me and attempts to shock me with excessive swearing and vulgar, sexual overtones. I actually rather enjoyed it.

…I was patient with the client who, instead of reading what I sent to her BEFORE she called me, she read it to herself while I was on the phone with her.

…I realized I will NEVER be able to write down every thing that’s in my head.

…I counted the minutes until it’s time to load the car and go skiing for a week.

See ya’ January 25th!  I’M ON VACATION!!

Can’t ride the Harley in this weather!

Designer versus Client

December 3, 2009

The timing on this is perfect because I’ve been fighting this battle with the cretins…I mean clients…for the the last two weeks.  Like the new client (a very nice one, though) who brought me some logo ideas for his his new place, saying “you know, my wife has a good eye and is very creative.” ARRGHH!  I love it when he says “Are  you going to do it in Microsoft Word?” HA! A big thank you to Robb for sharing this…it’s spot on.

They Said, I Thought

October 14, 2009

It’s really a wonder we have any clients left. The guys I work with just shake their heads. The older I get, the more impatient I become with clients. When I decide to waitress, I hope I can keep my mouth shut.

Our in-house designer?  Oh, she can do that.

If she could, then you wouldn’t be here…give it up.

We don’t know who the customer is, we’re hoping you can tell us.

If you don’t know, then I KNOW I don’t.

My wife is really artistic…these are some of her logo ideas.

Then you should hire her.

We did these ads.

Your children are ugly, oops, I mean these ads suck.

And I really have said this:  “With all due respect, what you are currently doing obviously isn’t working, or you wouldn’t be in my office.”

Welcome to small town advertising.

More sunshine?

April 21, 2009

Ever worked with THAT client, the one who is the smartest guy in the room and always reminds you he is, who, know matter what you do, when the whole rest of his team loves everything, just won’t let it go…just has to say the last word?

“I have asked around to get feedback and the reviews are mixed. I  was hoping for a more corporate look. I think we should move ahead with it,  add some photos, and have something up and then redesign later. My boss loved it and others thought it was great but I am still not  there. Sorry I don’t have more sunshine for you on this.”

WTF???  More sunshine?   More FUCKING sunshine?

images3It’s been a Monday.  I’m going home to reload.

The meaner, the better.

March 20, 2009

While the rest of the world is scamming, cheating and  being generally nasty to one another, here in Hooterville business is pretty good.  We’re keeping a tentative eye out for our own economic downturn, but right now we’re holding our own.  I believe the biggest reason is, for a shop our size, we do solid work that sends warm bodies through the clients door.  (Hey, we get ’em there…after that, it’s their job to sell ’em something.)  But I think another reason is that I’m a little, shall we say, straightforward?  OK, maybe a bit bitchy.   

The guys I work with know me inside out…and tolerate my rants. We naturally fall into the good guy/bitchy adgirl roles.  For example, a new client comes in and says he did his own brochure, so why should he hire us?  “You might not need to, show me what you did.”  Come on!  If you’re so good, then why are you talking to me?  (I saw what he did, and of course it was crap and, I’m sure deep down, he’s sorry he was such a nimrod.)

There’s been a lot of activity and we’re truly grateful. The office joke is the meaner I am, the more business we seem to get!  But it’s really because relationships run deep here- clients talk to one another.  They come to us for answers and direction without a lot of BS.  They know if I’m a little direct (or bossy), it’s because I care.  And we’re too busy to hold hands for long … you either get us or you don’t.  I’d likely never make it in a big market with such a sassy attitude.  And I’m too old to change now…wherever my next job takes me, honesty has to be the best policy.


   I’m the Good Ad Witch…really, I am!

Stuff White People Like

February 25, 2009

The web is sooo big, I stay up way too late surfing, reading, learning, and laughing.  So I find stuff white people like.   I  know it doesn’t have anything to do with advertising (at least I don’t think it does) but I loved it and am adding it to my blogroll.  I’m also thinking what a fabulous Christmas gift it will make for my white male, conservative clients who are in abundance here in Hooterville.   I can see the expression on their faces now.  Dude.  Yes.  You need to read this book….because you need to be enlightened.  (That’s chick-speak for “You’re an asshole.”)

Stuff White People Like   Buy it for your white clients!

Weekend Nestings

January 12, 2009


Who the hell is Flavor (or Flava) Flave?  And who in the hell watches this crap?  If they’re the customers of my clients, I’m screwed.  If we’re defined by the kind of TV we watch, then I probably need to see my therapist. What’s a middle aged, small town chick doing watching Family Guy? Fringe?  24?  Daily Show?  Colbert Report?  PBS?   I’m supposed to be a church-going, Palin-loving, NRA member…aren’t I?   I’m pretty sure I was dropped here by an alien ship.  So was Flavor Flave.  

Alien??Insane Marketers

I could totally relate to Freakin Marketing’s bit on Insane Marketers.  That’s the majority of our clients…Insane.  Nice people, but Insane.    ie:  Recession.  Oh my GAWD!  Let’s keep doing the same crap the same way and hold our breath and hope a Republican will swoop in and change things because that damned Obama is not for small businesses like us and oh yeah, cut the ad budget.  It would be inconvenient and a lot of work for us to try something different. 

Ahhhh…it’s maddening.  I love these people, but damn. No one said independent retail was gonna be easy.   Are all clients like this..everywhere?

Just us chickens

It’s about time that BIG city folk caught on….urban chickens are the new thing.  I work with two people who have chickens inside and out of the Hooterville City Limits. Fresh eggs for everyone!


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