Posts Tagged ‘Top Ten’

When I’m Queen of the World…

March 4, 2009

I’ve had a tough day and I’m thinking about what I’ll do when I’m Queen of the World.  Oh, you scoff, but it could happen.  And if it does, the world will be a better place.  We will all benefit from my extreme, slightly quirky methods.  Here is just a small sample of my Queenly decisions:

1. Drivers will only use the left lane to pass another car … you don’t just drive in that lane.

2. Professional athletes will not be allowed to wear any jewelry. At all.

3. People will stop using double negatives in a sentence. (I live in Hooterville, for GAWD’s Sake!)

4. Any person who litters will be shot … on sight.  That should end it.

5. People will STOP sending hateful, shitty email jokes and other crap that bashes a political party, black people, white people, gay people…any people. You’re wasting my time and insulting my intelligence.  Grow up.

6. No more plastic bags in grocery stores.  None.

7. Learn to spell.  It shows you care enough to send the very best thoughts.  (I better check this post.)

8. Someday I will sell my little shop, and have the time to read the growing stack of books next to my bed.  Then visit all the Authors.  George, I’m halfway through yours and it’s awesome. (You will take me drinking!)   Steffan, I can’t wait to start yours. 

9. Yellow Pages Salespeople will become detailers in car washes.

10.  The Cubs will win the World Series.

11. The font, Times New Roman, will be replaced with Crackhouse.  Just for the fun of it.

If you need anything else, let me know.

imagesIt’ll fit.

Top Ten Faves

January 9, 2009

(mostly related to advertising)

I recently shared my Top Ten Peeves … now, my Top Ten Faves.

1 The web sites of the other “agencies” in my geographical area… and many beyond.  Whenever I feel our work isn’t all that good, I look at theirs … and I feel better.  

2 Smart creative.  Strategically planned, not just because the client’s cousin liked it.

3 New Media.  It’s an exciting (if not dizzying) time to be in this business.  I have a tough time keeping up, but I love it.

4  Clients who say:  It’s working!

5  The process of collaboration.   It’s a beautiful thing and everybody benefits.  

6   Pencils.  Not the mechanical kind. Black Warriors are the best.

7  The Sharpie Campaign:  Write Out Loud.  Perfect.

8  The e*trade campaign. Now, whenever my new Grandson spits up, we ask him:  Did you just buy stock?

9  Smart, well-intentioned sarcasm.

10   Working with men.  Women (most, not all) are just mean, bitchy and carry that hidden agenda around in their whatevers.  Men are (typically) straightforward and down to business…(except for that one mean little gay guy I have to put with.  All my other gay friends are cool.)

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